complicated silly dreams .. Matteo filled up the car! i hope it's fixed now

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wow, todays been a long day, maybe its cause i'm now eating into the time i've been trying to sleep by last two days. ...ok, !lets get some feelings on the board and then set a bedtime goal.

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my boyfriend filled the coolant up and my despair at not having car=not having job=not having rent=homelessness terror.

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but also

!coolant flush

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{you've got help, there's people who care about you..}

Milo says hi.

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Riley and Milo want to game. what game? forest game. yeah guys we can do that.

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autobiography grah=ph. not autobiology biograph. huh.

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the self i am to my cat Charley needs solidarity with the self i am managing a dangerous customer at work, as does the self who wants back into the palaces (as a scribe or journalist or teacher or blogger or some few more years of safe food, safe healthcare, gauarnteed logic and order to one's course, the pleasure of being in a class ...

i miss it. i'm more anxious at the moment about

i often shut out past anxiety

wow that

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i often shut out past anxiety

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[ ]..

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that feels like i just noticed the brick wall i've been running into for the past century over and over again.

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of course we have other lives.. they make up an important part of the metaphysics of consciousness.

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big money stress. big money stress. its ok, we're going to have some time.

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what would help right now.

the 3000.

yeah. how long you think you could make it last?

3months.

get so little from work

yeah

so so little. well under a thousand a month for a long time now. and if you go over 1.5 k a month, no healthcare. i don't even know.

i've got to buy fewer books, of course. food is solid currently.

i have constant emotional tantrums in my head that i just self-concus out of.

that's a pretty good

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i'm scared of writing the thesis. maybe reading muultiple choice will help

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it hurt so much to fail that hard.

to fall from angelic angelic student to fallen angelic student, demonic unfallen and falling student.

Let Me Back Into The Palace.

The People's Palace. the default/baseline housing. should be at the needs of San Marcus.

Of /Saint Marcus

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tried out the microphone, big breakthroughs! made a recording, edited it, saved it!

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after the surreal horror of seeing my left big toe's nail be permanently amputated i'm scared to cut my nails. it was big deal. i feel like in life its intuitive that we should be allowed to hit save. God Suffers From Nightmares.

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