i studied for nine years. i remember feeling the same way as him, enjoying the lessons but always not wanting to go.

for me it was a combination of things.

1. the lessons were right after class and then because my dad's class was an hour later i would end up not being home till 9 or 10 pm on a school night. it was exhausting, i much preferred it when i didn't have to stay for both.

2. i had a couple really awful, abusive instructors. i liked studying, i liked seeing my classmates, but i hated them. when we switched schools 5 years in, stuff improved significantly.

3. the dojo was kept so so cold in the winter. the mats were freezing, it took half the lesson just to get warm enough. i think that was just the dojo owner being lazy.

4. my dad was really awful and we shared lessons a lot so i had to spend a lot of time with him and that sucked.

5. especially for the first years i was bullied by instructors and students and that sucked.

so i guess talk to your son. see if there's anything that would make continuing to practice easier, if there's any room for flexibility. maybe you need to switch gyms or he'd be happier in a different time slot if they offer different classes.

finally, i took a 6 month break about 5 years in, between the two schools. it was one of the best things for my studying i ever did. it let me take time to let go of horrible stuff about the last school, get out of the headspace and bad habits my previous instructors had drilled into me, and allow me to remember why i liked the art in the first place. when i went back after those 6 months to a different school, i was definitely rusty but i had regained my passion.

so, consider letting him take a break. many dojos will let you put your membership on hold for a month. there's this toxic attitude that if you aren't training 365 days a year you aren't a real martial artist, but that's bullshit. injuries happen. burn out happens. being board and needing to do other stuff and coming back with fresh eyes happens. don't force it.

students who began at the same time as me, a couple of them had their black belts at 3, 3.5 years in. and that's great for them. i felt like shit for taking 7 years on my first degree black belt, i was stuck at Blue belt for two years as people promoted up my rank then passed me, but i know that if i had just tried to white knuckle my way to getting advanced a couple belts faster, i would have just hated it and been miserable and would have probably resorted to trying to get kicked out of the school.

🧿🛸

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