former consul and current consular candidate Donald Trump is in critical condition at Saint Lucifer Hospital in Palm Beach following an injury at his his golf course near mar-a-lago. Trump, age 78, was struck by a golfball in what the secret service initially took to be a freak accident, as other players and Trump guests were using the field at the time. however, shortly after the injury the ball was discovered to contain a faulty explosive device, leading the incident incident to to be reclassified as an assassination attempt.

the primary suspect is a golf caddy of unknown identity who was in the party of Japanese businessman and longtime Trump friend Keizō Saitō, who is rumored to be slated as a special advisor for East Asian affairs should Trump win his re-election campaign. Saitō is currently in custody, but his caddy appears to have fled the scene before the strike occured. security footage appears to show him diving off one of the course's many coastal cliffs into the ocean and not emerging from the surface. the cost guard has been mobilized to search for the suspect.

Update

Keizō Saitō's attorney has made an appearance before the press in which he stated that his client believed his caddy to be Gaius Fletcherson, younger brother of international golf champion Bartholomew Fletcherson. the Fletcherson brothers are known for their pioneering of trick golfing, which makes us of environmental data gathered by close study of course conditions to make unlikely shots. Bartholomew currently holds the current world record for consecutive hole in ones (6) as well as hole in ones across multiple holes (4), with 114 officially tallied holes in one and two Olympic gold medals, while Gaius holds a silver medal (having been his brother's runer up) and holds the youth golf hole in one record, having placed 39 hole in ones prior to turning 18, a record previously held by Bartholomew.

the brothers' technique makes use of drones and weather balloons to analyze course conditions and over 400 separately weighted clubs. he is even known to taste the grass and dirt while studying the terrain. at the time of the assassination, Bartholomew was on route to the moon to play the first officially conducted lunar golf competition which is expected to last 6 days and cover a course of nearly a thousand square miles.

Gaius had been one of the 7 golfers invited by NASA to participate but tested positive for COVID-19 72 hours prior to the launch. his place was taken instead by Alexandria Béchu.

at the time of the assassination attempt, Saitō and his party had been golfing another hole in a direction perpendicular to that of Mr. Trump's location. Saitō is overheard on a security camera affixed to his golf cart inviting "Guy" to golf. at the last moment, the caddy changed his orientation and sent the ball in the direction of Mr. Trump, whom the party had encountered at a previous hole. he them immediately dropped his club, retrived a small backpack from the golf cart, and sprinted away from the audibly confused members of Saitō's party in the direction of the cliffs.

when reached for comment on board the Athena 9 a day out from the moon, Bartholomew Fletcherson stated that he has no knowledge of his brother's current whereabouts or any involvement in the attempted assassination. when pressed, he admitted that it was certainly in Gaius' ability to strike a person with a golfball from 400 yards and that both brothers had studied and played on the Trump golf course in a celebrity tournament twice in the last 6 years, but insisted that Gaius would never use golf for violence.

"golf is a beautiful game," he state, tears in his eyes. "golf is about excellence, about bringing people together in pursuit of their best. Gaius would never use a golf ball as a weapon. we are athletes, not assassins."

the manhunt for Gaius Fletcherson remains underway, with coastguard currently searching the networks of submarine caves off the cliffs of Mar-a-lago. satellite imagery suggests a figure matching that of the caddy emerged from the water some 11 miles away from the cliffs and climbed into an anchored speedboat where it traveled 50 miles up the coast towards the Everglades. the boat was recovered by helicopter but by that point it was deserted, apparently being steered by remote or autopilot.