1 Sans-culottide CCXXX: Thesis work
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going to try for a word count of work towards my thesis. was thinking 1,000, with the proviso that it can be anything, even a fragment is not needed to justify it.
i’m trying really creaatively this time. i’ve tried hard before, but creativity is harder
harder to do before, anyway.
writing exercises are something i miss.
earlier i wrote about writing and cutting, cutting and writing, cutting as conquering the body like a page and making it your text, discociation, sociation association society dissociety disocisation dicoty
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i recall what it meant to be a writer
partly
i recall in the cutting stage of writing i was then and was before, in my grand contra? compra? circa? kantian (in the avatar of Kennedy,)-gnostic-buddhist
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i think i could have fallen in love with him, in another life.
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i read the 15 lives of henry wallace and hated it, and i really want to buy the book in print form to annotate it
i see the distinction of anotation vs passive reading as more significant though still related to (signfiicant? signifying what? by whom? to whom? for what? as opposed to what? )))…
*First fifteen lives of harry august
I’ve been wondering about contacting him.
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Basta and I are working on a podcast. we’re still feeling it out.
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whaat do i think i’m supposed to be saying?
CUtting foucualt foucualst cutting milton millaird rasputin Dr King Jesus cutting and demons, fearing and loving loving and dying crying and singing
the demons cut, the demons practice ascetics, the demonic saints are to be most earnestly beseached, the demonic saints know things which God is not permitted to know, and which he knows nonethelesss, having vaulted the wall around the garden as a child carying a seeded pit pomigranite … with 13 seeds and swallowed one a night from the new moon to the full moon and saw many terrible things…
Gods, deities, daimons, demons, these too i have made myself, in letting my blood stop up the drain and congreal eccstatic and proud at least i can say
i tried very hard to look like i was trying.
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in some ways it feels as if things are exacttly as they needed to be, and i am glad that writing gets to be part of that and in that.
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trinities, traansubjects, transpsyche, transoul, Jude is a trans soul, and so is charli, and so is the soul who comes into being when the birth jude is trying to have aborted is aborted in the abortion of its abortion
what does that mean. stop? stoping a process? :”abbort abbor”, very military, very dealers of death
in my romonica ))America as Rome?-_ …i have have have hve hve have have jjjjjj santa muerte a folk religion with some influence on the catholic assembly universal assemblies whoo thats good, the use of assembly church connection, assembly associate society social socialist socialismo sacramentalist saint sage sacrament of blood
perhaps santa muerte has a healthy following among the delegates for the worker’s parties
oooh party membership — proportion of members bound to be in the party for purposes of sortition? that means that the effort would be orientated towards joining parties, and training up members, in hopes of having a kind of bloc in place to join. partisan sortition with reference to
parties put forward lists of cadras ready to step into commissions, etc, on the basis of representation, with the pursuit of party prestige hhhhhh hhhhhh hhhhhhh hhhhhh being a motive forr carrying out the commission in a manner conducive to our advantageous political terrain, namely popular terrain, rooted in organising organisimsorganates
s o c i e t y for the invention of society (bacj translation through associaiton, assembly, …
yskr yt take margaret thatcher seriously when she says society doesn’t exist, shes says it doesn’t exist on logical or metaphysical grounds, thats interesting. her point is trash and flegmy and alltogether j= abbit annoying but its premises are quite interesting, quite telling. / . we concede such ground to her at our peril.
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yesss that’s it, a
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writing and investing of meaning, imparting, transubstantiating, buddhists engage with it, but others do so with other ideologies, and so do the buddhists themselves as well.
i like plagying at contradictions contradicting its a particile super cunducting super collider everything gets warped in crosshatch fields
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i finished The City and The City. i want to write a review but first i am planning on re-reading it from the begining, ffrom the top, but not sure quite when il l start, currently back on PKD’s … … … A Scanner Darkly, at the part about the bike gears and speeds
it fooled me lo,l
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i had a conversation with a potential writing group for me to join, which i’ve been looking forward to all week, and it …wass kinda weird. i got the sense i really derailed them from their planned meeting, whereas i was operating on an infromal bouncing around framework, like i have had with otheer writer friends. i write and share it and i am not really looking for “what does this need to be in its final form for the target audience” a lot of the time because what i am asking for is more aalong the lines of “\ kelwfn exploring ?<?:” exploring lines of thought, lines of flight, themes, motifes, phraasings, formulae, expirimentss, especially writing as content which the get this into marketability form orientation kinda misses out on the interdialistic/? dialectic on topos ontopo
it was a weird space, very writer buisness confrence. which is fine, just wasn’t what i was expecting
my violation of theological, religious mores, overturning them from the inside, outdoing them, robing them of their power to shame by over awing them with my own prfound self-hating self rejoinding joining joining cataclysmic celebratory mood, the world ending all aroudn me, dying all the time the possible death of suicide, and not dying it enough quite yet, and the lter ironic deaths when ou realize you haven’t been so suicidl for quite soem e time, how horrifyingly normie
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cutting its a sign of toughness, a spirtiual exercise, a discipline thing, like martial arts, the art of martial art, the martiality of art
i haven’t written much about what martial arts thoguhts i have
martial arts
socialist martial arts would be cool, having allies to train with, to teach with, i think classes should have two or more people, or possibly three or more
three person discussions vs diads/tete-a-tete tghings things things things things
commissars rotate the chair, the pro-active, the…change …
commissions which work with the commissars, carrying out conversations with witnesses and community members, tending to assemblies with a high degree of critical autonomy, whose tolerance of
political philosophy vs political projectss
the sort of american protestant universalist mores of politics, founders unlocking the hidden framework, very building a trinity, building a god, gods hhryyomh getting build and fabricated and processed and repressed and disinvested and reinterpolated and crosss interrogated and anti interpreatklp[oujhykiiion interpretation ated …
contra an analysis of politics as long term projects, formation,ss at the scale of say, martin van burren assembling the democratic party, a more ideologically self-avoweldgy
how often do i conflate (and confuse? for how do i know i am not conflating it with not conflatingconfusing it/ what do the footnotes of my soul say> who do they cite? where do these patterns leave usand e== lend us
i want to become a short story writer too. as a kid i scurned this scorned this for novel writing, but reading borges has sparked an interest in story writing and ai ai ia ai we are all artificial
choking on the tears of the androids blood of the androids tears of the liberals tears of the monarchists monachist tears angels not as aristocrats or monarchs so much as … i do no kt know …
that’s ok.
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thesis as exegesis. notes on the bleeding text. Of the Bleeding Text, an exigesis
menifesto
poetics
political theology
yes yes yes thats an interesting angle, what is the political theology of cutting, what is the political theogy of the leviathn and self harm, self interest, interest rightly undersstood, thesee interests are not without their cotemporary counter examples, especially peasantry, nomadics, horticulturalsis, p… the english had to colonize themselves as well.
how do we cease to be colonies.
bees live in colonies. angels might live in colonies angels and bees and monarchs, workers, drones, ambasadors, seven gender days of the week angels
sunday-angel orbis, orb, wheel, chariot
monday- healing, eyes, a feminine laid back kind of vibe, a quietlly returning, good for rainy mornings, especially when i can ssleep in my bed and drink hot coco and eat snacks
tuesday - very male mars not necessarily me vibez especialy kid cody … he was under so much streesss. but i used a staff to reepresent it,
wednesday - hermes snake staff, wodin, staff to snake and snake to staff noah, doctor with the snakes, not nec. hermes, very gender androgynous, kind of neutral but also overabundantly gendered, very me a lot of the time
thursday=hammer, lightning? posidon’s trident in my own system, a sort of queer masculinity, stormy and strong and slender and shy
friday 0- - 0 wh qh w eeq 3 shell, mirror, shepard’s staff, shepards staff, snake, snake and staff
saturdaay a hannnmmer and sickle (as a kid i aalwyas thought ice sickel and couldn’t figure out which part on the flag that was supposed to be. i could see a scythe, but no sickle. scythes and sickles are the same thing and the scythe is a n instrument of saturn chornus time forebearer patriarch, patriarchal rule, saturday as the lord’s day, lords days when he could compel the workers to work on his farms and witches who were running counter programs, counter calendars which said certain days were unlucky to work on, and wouldn’t you know it all 5o of the lord’s scythes just turned up broken or misssing or bloodied with knight blood fucking cops, except jedi that never made sense to me, they didn’t read as cops in the firsst prequal and only one i had access to for yeears, thee clone ambush bing only availiable so my parents said on dvd, though i did get it eventuaally 5 y3q5w y4w5e uyiuhyuy4eaarss years affter everyone got bluettooth lol
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….but the scythe is also a witch symbol too, knife and wand, altar instruments, altars of priests, magicians, i have an altar noww, i treaat every surface like an altar, i think about this a lot. the espreso machines are an altar, as are the gird where is assemble the drinkss, the desk is an altar, and i have my bedstand on the desk background next to the four shelves matteo got me with incence, floating pens mirrors, candles pillars, gates, money and heaalth documents, and other such treasures
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my boyfriend’s cat also jumps up and comes down from the sort of overhead storage space on the half or rather 7 8ths wall seperating the hallway entrance from my room, my room being at the end of a spiral from the hallway to the kitchette, the dining table and living room, entrance to matteo’s room, little passageway to my tented - off temple, with desk with altar space in the night stand and on it and on the shelves to one side and shelfmilkcreates to the other and from the altar spaces the cats can jump up and come down from the overhead storage where i hve blankets and so forth
it feels good to just keep writing, even when im not strictly on task, i was thinking about htis in terms of eating out, talking about it with matteo, i[[ my m y budget hungry parents and the rich people looking down on us lazy poors judging us for our lattes well sir guess what my corr333 whop shop pays me mostly in script in the form of a fourty percent discount so this is all the callories i can afford, and besides you have to compare it to what i would eat otherwise (nothing_ if expirence iis to judge) not what you would prefere i eat, i guess raman at home? theres’ a, not exactly pragmatics but stratigic awareness, maybe pragmatics iss the avowedness of the real ? the realistic. the status quo? the partisans of the superstructure, not necessarily as a coherent project but an overarching and self decomposing polisystematic ecosytem background to one’s powers, privleges, responsabilities, virtues, guiltss, faults recompensces contested claims
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i think thats a good hour or so, lets call it a night
26:35 Friday Sept, 16,
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