“Amazing.”
— Me
“[REDACTED]”
— [REDACTED], allegedly
“Zach turned essays that were consistently three hundred to seven hundred per cent over the maximum word count. The first I thought it was a mistake but then he gratuitously apologized and said he just couldn’t stop. Said he had a problem. I told him it was no big deal. 90 pages later I’m beginning to question the wisdom of that statement.”
— Me again, but this time I’m refereing to myself in the third person and impersonating my professor. This is called fiction.