🌅🐓Feast of the Phoenix, Feast of the Risen God

my sleep schedule has been in a rough space. falling asleep at 5am, waking up at 17pm, tomorrow (Feast of The Memorious Eye) i need to pick up Boyfriend’s meds. we need financial help, and all i can think about is the abuse the people who should be helping me carried out against me, and the horrible things happening to and which have happened to the people i love. I miss Balreet and I feel overwhelmed. i’m going to try to work on the appeal tonight, and for breaks i will add some art to the blog.

I’ve been reading The Just City today, there’s a lot of sexual assault in it. progressing also on my re-read of Seven Surrenders. I want to start a Food Not Bombs. I want to help my friends. I want revenge against the people who hurt us. I want it to be impossible for any of us to be hurt again.

We Live In The Wrong World.

I have a dream about my parents and my godfather, Father G. We were on a bus, circling a slightly surrealified cliff road landscape not far from where i grew up. My godfather had a medical emergency, and i was trying to inventory my tarot cards, we had broken into a friend’s family’s vacation house and they showed up unexpectedly and were excited to see me, they were vampires in other dreams, and had bid us dine and watch horror movies with them, and i had to find my birthing person’s water bottle and they bid me read Tarot for them. There were many cards and suits I did not recognize.

I would like to write lettters, even if i don’t send them, to R and my birthing person and to others.

I am angry at them.