26:16, 5 Vendémiaire CCXXXI

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△ 3 of Swords. “Heartbreak, Rejection, Pain.”

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Yikes, that doesn’t sound good. I hope things are ok. i suppose i did have to reject something earlier today, i hope I didn’t cause too much pain. this feels like the right time to mention that I’m pulling all the cards of the deck without shuffling any of them in until I’ve gone through the whole deck. today i pulled the card when I woke up from some pretty upsetting nightmares which did involve heartbreak, rejection, and pain, now that I think about it…i didn’t have a chance to look up the meaning until just now tho. (I post these in nire more or less approx. close to real time, saving as i go. i did lose several paragraphs when my computer (technically my bf’s computer, my chromebook hasn’t worked in months and months) yesterpost which was very sad and frustrating, but even with that risk there’s a lot of value to me writing close to a stream of consciousness and postponing the editing phase, if it comes at all, until after the point-of-publication.)

☤ | 𓂀 | ∴ | ⧰ | ⛩ < · · · · · symbols marking writing sessions···.

Don’t get too excited about the imagery though guyz, galz, and zenogendered pals. squarespace is a b*tch to work with (is that sexist to say? if you have a good alternative to bitch please post it in the comments, esp. if it can compete with the wonderful mouthfeel which the queen B haz) in the best of times, or maybe the problem is that I never really read the instruction manual. the drag and drop tool is great in theory but I should probably be using a prefabricated (can you fabricate a web page) format which automatically places the images and texts on alternating sides. se la vie

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i really need to taake my sleep meds………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Notes From Today’s Shift :

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Magic coffee shop!

Profiles of customers, baristas, owners, beans et cetera. (see BloodRoast Beans!)

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Locust extermination/other plagues of Egypt protection racket (Joe’s friend)

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God as a salesman
the good salesman the good samaritan the good samarsman
death of a salesman lmao what is that even about i legit do not know the plot

in the story of the good samaratin, which one is god?
which one is Jesus
soryry ryr ryr ryr Neoplatonic Protestants oooo plato v aristotle protestatn catholic? no, tho, the evangelicals need more than a one to onee comparison, they might be able to metabolize that, … … … … … …………

what if not everything is deserving of love? like not talking about people, talking about a phenomona, well if god is in everything there must be something in everything to love, right? Wrong, that asssumes implicitly a God Love equation. save that for Fridays (Venus, Freja, The Passion, )

… … … … … … … … … … … … … … …. …

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War in heaven as a swarm of bees (i.e. splitting hives, demons loosely defined as spirits which are neither members of one’s own hive. may or may not include hives and independent spirits which which have a treaty of friendship/tribute/protection racket with one’s own hive. rival hives, completely independent spirits, even some spirits within one’s own hive in internal exile (incile?) or other special internal antagonistic role eg Satan qua the Accuser in the Courtroom of God, an imprisoned God which the hive worships, such as in the case of abducting a rival’s idol and subsuming its powers and patronage to one’s own pantheon.

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Deep Future, Xenocommunism.

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Want to read I Want to Believe: Posadism, UFOs and Apocalypse Communism

#corespondance #poem

sleepy cows wadle under a copious
sky humming one note forever
and ever and
ever
and then we die

_Bulldozer

just so y’all know if i ever do get good at posting jpegs on this site there’s a 169% chance of this whole thing turning into just a @dril tweets archive

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is there a way to liveblog on squarespace actually? like im just saving and updating often to a blog post that is already well posted

ooh interesting terms for genre writing et cetera vis a vis what they do, what they “are”

… … ….

Nothing

Will Have

To Be

Anyone

Anymore

In fact

it won’t be allowed

{nightvale, Poem Week}

^. .^ ^..^ ^_^

i like keyboard art text art what art schedule art no well hmm interesting a keyboard is a kind of schedule of keys i suppose? do schedules have to be temporal? would such a definition hold up under heavy bombardment, First Ontological Corps?

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rough quote: “i think if i just wwalk to goodwill it will be tomorrow…

now i just think of good will as the ultimate Time-Bringer”

amendedd quote:

· · ·

WHAT IF AN UNBORN BABY NEEDED TO HAVE AN ABORTION TO SAVE ITS LIFE_Dimitri

“wow” _zach

Corrected Spelling: “wcaaaw”^

♬ Time Bringer Time Bringer

You Need Prophecy To Count ♬

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ooh, a Jude who is a mathematical prodigy

books about prodiges

any good examples?

go on reddit and ask

Wowww there is! a way to write so it writes out and stays on this side but then maneuvers itself all thee way over to the other side lik arrrrrro ooouuitiouxspnkp, splash! lol sorry for the people reading on mobile (look @Zach over here )

https://twitter.com/ComradeGhostboi/status/1320501856695537664

The Gods of the Week

! ! ! !

huh i guess i can put forms here.I wonder if i can do a poll?
that was one of my earliest posts lol

I want to get something better than exclusively my essays again on the home page. maybe ill use it as a cutting table so visitors to my site can see what im working on

Hello Visitor

oooh Visitor Angel Watcher Wheels Thrones Messenger Secretary

I bet God has a bunch of secretaries

I wonder how long they serve for

God as a constitutional monarch

who is limited by a democratic body

maybe see the french revolution, american revolution, russian revolution, all these as coontologyies with god,

cause thats terrifying, iff god exists on the same ontological plane

not exclusively terrifying, but you do have some serious cthullu level shit going on

and maybe hee should be limited to some kind of symbolic role

let the parliament or the congress or whatever manage things

or alternatively god manifests by way of an emergent process in the souls of complex systems on their own material terms

we already can brush up against the laws of the impossible, meaning the sign or idea of the impossible can make its impact on us
{How Forests Think, Kohn}

see also impossible-were-it-not-permanently-demonstrant phenomona, e.g. i.e. phenomona conciousness,

those are impossiblities bursting in on us

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¡idk i just find it charming that in spanish the rules of writing/the alphabet/punuctuation are nearly the same but then they’ll start sentences with the punctuation upsidedown. does that extend to elipses? neopunctuation>?

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whats interesting to me tho is how unphallic the phallus of all things is

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_Rilezz, by the way

?Live blogging on squarespace

?

this is also an altar -

a temple, -

… … … … … … … …

shrine
saint
gate
bridgee
flame (tongue)
staff
….
feather
cup
water to wine, wine to blood. a ritual involving a potion which turns the wine into blood, or slight of hands it

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I love that the Eye of Horus, Wadjet, is also a distinct and seperateable Goddess, and I think the other Eye, the right Eye, is the Whole Eye, the Eye of Ra, …

the rumors of christ’s life being reimagined as {Lent}ian incarnations

Lent as time on Earth, most of the big events occuring around the Lentian season, Lent as seperation from heaven, Lent as respite from Hell, Lent as Purgatory , Purgatory as multiplee lives, but in that case what is the nature of the soul? Do angels take on 7 bodies, or 9, when they are trying to cover 10 years per year, or 10,000 years per year, making themselves lesser and more? do they coalesce in many bodies at once? are the souls of men a nest of angels, like vipers, like bees, like fruits

………………………………………….and now i have! yayyy

god i love coming up with surrealist side effects lists

I’ve had such a productive writing night! not a ton explicitly thesis related or like well developed broadly or NHFP though I guess I did get an essay posted so that’s pretty cool!

i like the original (original?) meaning of essay

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From wikipedia:

The word essay derives from the French infinitive essayer, "to try" or "to attempt". In English essay first meant "a trial" or "an attempt", and this is still an alternative meaning. The Frenchman Michel de Montaigne (1533–1592) was the first author to describe his work as essays; he used the term to characterize these as "attempts" to put his thoughts into writing.

Subsequently, essay has been defined in a variety of ways. One definition is a "prose composition with a focused subject of discussion" or a "long, systematic discourse".[3] It is difficult to define the genre into which essays fall. Aldous Huxley, a leading essayist, gives guidance on the subject.[4] He notes that "the essay is a literary device for saying almost everything about almost anything", and adds that "by tradition, almost by definition, the essay is a short piece". Furthermore, Huxley argues that "essays belong to a literary species whose extreme variability can be studied most effectively within a three-poled frame of reference". These three poles (or worlds in which the essay may exist) are:

• The personal and the autobiographical: The essayists that feel most comfortable in this pole "write fragments of reflective autobiography and look at the world through the keyhole of anecdote and description".

• The objective, the factual, and the concrete particular: The essayists that write from this pole "do not speak directly of themselves, but turn their attention outward to some literary or scientific or political theme. Their art consists of setting forth, passing judgment upon, and drawing general conclusions from the relevant data".

• The abstract-universal: In this pole "we find those essayists who do their work in the world of high abstractions", who are never personal and who seldom mention the particular facts of experience.

Huxley adds that the most satisfying essays "...make the best not of one, not of two, but of all the three worlds in which it is possible for the essay to exist."

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ok gotta go play with the kittens!

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writing on this like a message board, an offering up of memes and thoughts and words and fragments, vulnerabilities and disarmaments and raw growth, space to grow unevenly and ungaingly

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I like posting utopian cities and absurd gods and writing about mazes that get inside my head

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#correspondance #poetry

have you ever met a market? have you ever hunted one down to eat it, turned its pelt into a robe and its tusk into a crouching god? I’m reliably (which is to say regularly) informed that they taste like freedom, but all I can personally confirm is that an invisible hand is tying line graphs around my throat until, coughing vomit, my cavities fill with crazed rantings of forecasts cast in the entrails of tertiary nations likewise clogged and asphyxiating on hot, red ink.

6 January 2022 | 7 Pluviôse CCXXX

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⛩️|🧿| ☍ | ⚕ | ↯ | ♱ | ☭

☉ | ☾︎ | ♂ | ☿ | ♃ | ♀ | ♄

⛩ | 𓂀 | ⸸ | ☿ | ♆ | ♁ | ☭

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The wheel/Gate — dharma, return, beginning, ending, passage through. alternatively, the gate, often abreviated in my own writing as two horizontal lines at the top or more rarely below what I’m writing.

Moon/Wadjet — Healing, eye of horus, thtoth, and wadjet herself, also eye of ra and ra, implied by thee wheel

Yin Yang, Mars Sign — Couldn’t ffind a good mars symbol of mars for copying and pasting, which always seemed like an obvious phallus but aparently was originally as shield and spear, or so i’m told, though this article suggests it might be the God’s halo or helmet. reminds me of the dialectics of offense and defense in martial arts. i’ve also used a pen in an inkwell. overall this is the day of the week i’ve had the most trouble with, probably cause i just don’t super vibe with the traditional “male” symbol nearly as much as wednesdays prophet/priest/magician-gender vibes. a ray of light or lightning and a crystal ball could be a reinterpritation i could maybe get behind, or maybe a dialectics symbol. i like the lightning symbolism too, maybe combine that with the opposition symbol.

Caduceus — the symbol of Mercury, remonescent of the Staff of Aesculapius and also reminds me of Moses’ staff. i wonder if he kept the snake as a pet. Jude probably did. also the snake on the staff symbol is a healing symbol and a symbol of salvation which gets synchronized with the cross

Trident, Jupiter —I like how the trident and bident and (one prong) lightning can all fall under the trident, like it has the three prongs 1 2 3. aparently the jupiter symbol is not a lightning bolt nor a stylized 4 but rather a greek zeta ζ so … i do love the letter Z but i think the trident fits better. i’ve also used a hammer but stopped when i moved that to saturday, and an anchor at times which is very similar looking to the trident

Cross, Mirror (Seasheel but i can’t find a good copy and paste one) — Gods of love, especially Aphrodite/Venus and Jesus/Yeshua, … the Passion, … a mirrored dagger…

Hammer and Sickle — I tried using the star of david for saturday and just the scythe (like jupiter, the symbol for saturn is not a scythe but rather a K and rho crossed for Kronos, which is less interesting to me then a scythe) but i settled on the symbol for the alliance of workers and peasants, though when writing it I use a chinese variation with a circular handle—less practical, but aesthetic. and are not artisans also workers?

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idea—-maybe i could have one set of symbols for waxing and another for waning? with a tori gate arch over the day of the New Moon and/or Full Moon?

I’d also like to observe the days of the Zodiak

my selfchosenenicknamee as a kid was Kodiak, Zodiak is a pretty good extensionn of that … …. … . . .

Gate/Arch/Staff, Bridge,

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Trying to translate tarot into chinese alchemy

Staves wood, Cups water, Rings/Blades/chains/throwing stars metal, Pearls/Stones/Coins/Pentacles/Pentagrams Earth, Stars fire?

Gates Bridges Staves Wheels …

Wheel wood of earth earth

Bridge wood of water water

torch staff wood of fire?

… … … .. .. … .. .. … .. .. … ..

omfg Pluto is sometimes shown holding a bident, which is litterally just a trident with one fewer tines, my mind is blown

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Conservatives also have projects, interesting, complex, philosophical projects. not that they deserve therefore hegemonic dominance, but they can be informative to study at times.

Dr. K is I suppose a How to Win Friends and Influence People Conservative

Hmm, conservativism, popularity, populism, elietism, conformism, individualism, joredean peterson’s politics of an individual, socialism, society is impossible

yess positioning is key, social imposibilists, imposibil realists, impossible realism as a radical form of magical realism/cousin to it idk

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in some ways it makes sense

only by encompassing the impossible can the full set of the real take place

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worldbuidiing : buillding : idea

wittegnstein on twitter

Jesus on twitter

Just play around with ht e the timelines, let history all run together, the way a student of the 2nd millenium from a vantage 1000 millenium from now might confuse the technological and biographical details of the sloppy end of the 10 or 12 o 15 centuries they are cramming on their test for

every novel is only ever a gesture at a larger reality which it both describes and exists within in omni potentia, God as idea, the ontological arguement, catagories/generals as things int he world, plato i suppose, plato as punk, see {Lent, Walton}

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Jenny Nichilson confidently asserting that No, the creator of Escape from Tomorrow only has a subtle, hard to see problem with women

Positioning in propaganda

I do need to clean my table, i want a word with a specifically spiritual.compulsive?liberatorive? word for it. language has not yet become what i need it to be. yet.

the Yetists, Yetism, Yeti, like Jedi, Jedi, Jeti, JyehdII, … … … … monk, monastic, knight conservativism, that could actually be an artistically rich place to go, the monk/sage/refined/removed.purifiedone…… … … ..

Jude? Maximilian? Max, Maxim, maybe the russian zstar leaves office but he retains the archducky of Finland, (?), and idk maybe things go different in the waar with japan and or there is no war with japan cause it was really easy for the people in power to like geet what they needed cheaper, were it not for the ideology
but that of course assumes that the two are seperateable even in theory. which is to say, what would it mean in material terms for a nonideological state of affairs to opperate

wittengnstein as post ideological, mystical…a magician , an incarnation of God, raising gravity defying palaces so long as no one says anything, but only shows things, uses language as creation, manipulation … … … ..

Public theorization. public intellectual

wizard as public intellectual, philosopher, symbol for philosophy?

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its c'est la vie you idiot, you morron, you absolute fucking buffoon.

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phone trouble

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! ok ok ok ok ok 

! rhizomes the size of planets, nebula, producing their own gods, like spores, hives of angels and …. … … … … … … … …

concretizatization of gods as an emergent process process process process process process 

i am the true vine, and you are my bees

… … …. … … …. … angels enter into (our perception of ) existence through specially processed mental states… … … …

the Phenomonal Wars.. … … … Phantom Menace as a war of propaganda phenomona are propaganda dreams are propaganda language is propaganda

_antilinguists, wittensgtein qua god, Benjamin

LLl Lent Brother salvanaro salvanaro is a kind of god too, as is the midicicicic lord… … … … … … … …

† 

k

6 Vendémiaire CCXXXI | September 27, 16:40

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God i love those pipes | | | |

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i wonder if its autistic the way i relate to keyboards, not pressing any key and ind of un-seeing it {The City and The City, Melville} until i have actually learned what it does formally, sort of a marking time coming of age ritual

𓂀𓂀𓂀

hmm, I wonder what might have come of Egyptian Christianity, with Ptolemaic Platonism,?, the model of Ra for the Godhead and other egyptian soil, the Isralite-Egyptian tension, Jesus having yes we aknowledge it, egyptian training, but come on guys it was only between the ages of 0 and 7, and by 12 (?) he was in the temple anyway fully versed in the law, which is the focus in our christ

thinking in what literature

what are the literatures of thoughts

could i read an encyclopedia of one please

I do have that book “ …. >… >… …. >> .>. ..>> > … Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

>. >. > its so imporrtant to eep keep moving. try not to edit yourself in real time. which is to say, edit out the editing in real time

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Ra, Angels need to

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… i llike the Time of the Magicians book I’m reading rn mf… … … …

god its such a satisfying itch to scratch

very ocd

very turetes

to just sware like copisuslyou coupiously copious cpiously …

my parents ALWAYS commented in angery voices, as if especially my father angry at uss for their failings, for being invested in the media which he was consenting and deciding and comanding to watch , espcially i’m thinking now of survivor ,

whenever someone would say ‘god’ he’d comment and judge and berate them at us for taking the lord’s name in vain

he disgusts me, my father. i am disgusted by him.

perhaps all sons must be disgusted by their fathers, and all Sols made to rise in the West, and every impossible thing must come to pass, if only in the realm of the theoretical {see { .. .. .. … … .. { Hylerian Plane of Platonic forms

yeah the christian god thee catholic god its all very platonic

i suppose the roamsn at the time were importing a lot of plato, probably aristotle and xenophon and so on and so on

we can none of us choose our fathers

my parents would be furious at my admission

heartbroken by my feeling

and why

because i feel things

cops make it impossible for us to feel feelings

no they dont you can always feel the feeling abstractly, be good without acting on it, in secret, if in service of a higher goal, … … … … … … … … … … …

but no, see {Mahmood’s { politics of piety }

see embodiment

see non·mind body body dualism

you feel your feelings, you do your feelings, in the body

there is an apparatus

and there must be in my case an aparatussless feeling, “taking place” in an impossible world theorized by me in counterfactual reasoning towards the conclusion that no, we are embodied, and my parents policed my body such that my mind needed to be kept away from certain doing-feelings, and what a relief to be free of them

freedom in practical terms

in forms not usually celebrated in political cannon which itself makes up an important germ of the esp see the petitie bourgouise zie ideolgoy

god fucking damint i hate fuck theat guy , 1984 is just such a failure at the level of literaturary engagemebnt and so many people its like one of 2-6 political books they are aware of and could recite the aarguement

NHFP takes place in a coffee shop, a temple-university, a hospital, a kickback, a revolutionary congress, a riot, a generation ship, a dyingg star orbited by 60 dwarf planets, all inhabited at least part of the solar year, which play host to 60 monestaries, 66, 6006, … 666 and some of the planets rutinely melt during the close to other planets especially the gas giants gravity causing volcanic activity etcetera and theere are many orders of monks who are tasked with the circulating of the various relics between different cites of veneration, protection, etcetera, an old old space farign civilization, both limited and shaped and changed and freed and subjected

other political scenes, like a child li berated from their abusive parents { ❤ }

like freedom as a rhetorical tool and instrument used as a crudgle to get us to all sing in tutne

so whatt if satan didn’t want to sing in tutne

so what if satan wrote a song for himself and not for god and against god and against satan not as god,

i am curious more about the material conditions in accordance with whcihc satan fell

satan as a queen bee, off on her virgin(-ity loosing flight) and what’s this what s this whats thais this this this this thsi gthis this thsi

no one ever shows(/ed me ) the messy side of writing and that s hurts that s fucked th that ss tha ts that s that ss that ss that sss. sucks

stuttering while writing is is is is fun

its liberating…

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I wonder, does Mt 5:22 apply if you’re calling </yourself/.> a fool?

Probably. Suicide counts as a sin, often even a worse sin then murder. What about self harm? what is the theology of self harm? that’s kinda actuaally a good writing prompt for me! yayyy i love when my brain produces A Thought!™ good job brain.

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Say what you believe.
Don't give me the right answer give me your answer
Right answer doesn't help anyone.
Give me your answer.

-Dr. K

Speed dating sounds fucking awful to me.. I’ve never done it but it sounds like some of the most artificial contrived inauthentic trash that you can possibly do.

-Dr. K

{God if this guy set out to change the world he would serious force to be reckoned with, and the nature of his pedagogical-therapeutical-monastic position seems to me an ideological ticking time bomb… … … .. .. ….}